I wish I could just get out of here right now. Why would I stay somewhere where the people only think negative things of me and think that I won’t ever amount to anything. Oddly enough I’ve realized that I’m stronger than I thought and I have more confidence then I give myself credit for, but obviously there’s times that it hits me pretty hard. Basically the past hour has been a crying fest, pretty much out of nowhere considering today has been me feeling great about myself and about life. It kind of hit me that I haven’t really taken a step towards moving back to az yet. I don’t have a lot of money saved, I haven’t gotten anything taken care of for my car yet. It just hit me hard and I instantly realized that time has gone by sooo fucking slow. Paychecks every other week feels like getting one paychek for the whole month at this rate. My job went from progressing to me actually moving up to having my schedule next week being nothing but hosting shifts. Plus me just feeling lonely for this whole process. I have Jayson of course and he’s the only person I have supporting me right now, but it still makes me feel lonely knowing that I have one person willing to help and support me, not only though the moving process but in the day-to-day emotional struggles that I go through. As of my recent self discovery of how strong I really am, I actually am more than okay with being alone; I don’t mind being self sufficient because I know that there’s no one I can trust more than my own self. My dog and I have always been super close, but as of recently he is my #1 favorite thing in the world (besides the boyfriend of course). We take naps together every day, he comforts me when I’m in pain or I’m feeling down. I have conversations with him about my day and he’ll sit and listen and look cute. Today he even sat with me as I showed him the things I got at the mall; he sniffed each one and wagged his tail like he was just as excited as I was (he especially liked my new flower clip, he almost stole it from me). This all makes me sound like a total loner but I don’t even care. Id rather be considered a loner than not have my little Weasel pup. He’s the sweetest thing in the world even if he is a little broken he’s my best friend whose always been there for me.
Anyways. Random venting session complete, I’m not crying anymore.
I Caught Fire - The Used
(Source: rewindthetrack)
